I haven't done an update in months, literally. Seeing as how things have changed quite a bit I figued I'd do an update. Seeing that old journal was really starting to bother me, I mean I AM the only one who reads these things anyway.

That was the most epic fail ever. I actually get the incentive to write this damn thing at two in the morning I may point out only to have it quit when I'm about halfway through. I had to retype all of this again. Awesome.

Okay the quote is from a song that has become my rallying cry. It's called "I'm not that girl" from the musical Wicked. Very good song, even better musical.

Alright, school had ended and I have graduated, scary, yes. Imagine my feelings on the subject. One funny thing though, at graduation practice I fell backwards off of the platform we were sitting on. Amusing, yes, painful, another yes. Thankfully I didn't fuck up at graduation and my speech went rather well. I was choking on sobs the entire time but people told me they liked it so it's always a plus.

I'm currently working almost twenty four seven and that shouldn't stop me from having a social life and it doesn't. More than anything I've become a hermit of my own free will. People annoy the hell out of me and my patience is wearing more and more thin these days.

I've been seeing SMB (Screaming Mechanical Brain) on an almost regular basis...well if you count once a month a regular basis. I'm not even going to go into some of the drama surrounding the conerts and stuff but it's always really fun to go to one. Lauren is coming down on August 28th, staying the weekend and we get to see them on the 29th.

Also taking place on the 29th is my tattoo. I know none of you will probably understand but I'll explain it anyway. It's a treble clef and at the bottom it's a peace sign. Sort of a symbol of my passion for music. It's the only thing that brings me 'eace' sometimes. It has meaning and it's going to be small and easily hidden so I really have no qualms about getting it besides the fact it's going to hurt and it's going to be an awkward hour or so, don't ask why.

Other than those few things not much has been going on. I'm going to HAVE to get my license here real soon because my dad is getting fed up with his 18 year old daughter being immobile. Not that I have a car but he think it'll help somehow, yeah right. Also if I get around to it I'll be signing up for classes for college starting in the spring. Whoopee joy.

Don't ask about dating. It's pretty much gone out the window. Don't get my wrong, I've tried. I've tried and failed and frankly it's getting sickening so I'm kind of trying to ignore the whole, "I'm single, I'm miserable" feeling. As I stated before. People are annoying.

If you hadn't noticed all the dry humor and sarcasm I'll point it out for you. But hey, give me a break it's two in the morning. I'm alone, I can't sleep, and my Ipod is playing nothing by sad sad songs. I have a right to a little sarcasm at this point in time.

Well there's the update. I do not feel so bad now. Although I probably won't update this thing again until November...I'm just THAT lazy...

***EDIT I've got four different social network sites open AND dA and NO ONE is on to chat....That's how amazing I am..

No one else will get this quote but Lauren and I...big surprise......

Alright I haven't done a journal in forever and things have gotten better since I've last spoken to most of you through my journal.

School: School is winding down, quite literally! I graduate in two days! Freaky huh? I'm going to be out of highschool and into the world. Plans are to work for a year and take a couple of courses before seriously going into college. That's what I'm going to stick to because I'm sure as hell going to college.

Work: Work sucks, what's new? . Oh well, it's not too bad. There are some cool people left working there and the remodling is slowly getting done and it's looking alot better.

Misc: Well, Lauren and I went to two concerts in a row, both of them about two hours away from here. It was to see the same band, Screaming Mechanical Brain. They're from MN and I demand you all go and look them up right now because they totally rape minds....Seriously I love them. Probably one of the most fun things was after the concert. They have the most hilareous guitarist, Turff. Lauren and I got him to sign our CD's mainly because we're both like, in love with the guy and then we made fun of him cause he's so freaking skinny and he pulls off his shirt and then his belt and we're both like WHOA! And he goes "no, no it's okay" and proceded to prove to us that he has no organs. Then the time for pictures came and it looked like he was just going to do the whole leg up around the person thing at first but NO he procedes to jump into Lauren's arms. It came my turn and I just looked at him and he's like "it's alright" And guess what all 140 lb.s of him doesn't feel like that. It feels more like fifty. The other concert we went to was filled with a freaking dead crowd and ALL scene kids. Pissed me off. After ward he came over and put his arms around Lauren and I and jumped into our arms and was like "Carry me to the table!" So we did LOL. Lauren said she'd put some pics up so you'll alll get to see them

Yeah..this was mainly put up here just to rant about how freaking awesome the concerts were....

Quote taken from my most recent addiction, the Used.

Alright, since I haven't done an update in god knows how long I figured I'd do it now. After all I've got nothing better to do.

School: School has been hectic as usual but my grades are coming up to where I want them to be right now. Anatomy is kicking my ass, or at least it was. If I can do well on the next tests the grade should be perfectly fine. Pre-Calc is going to be like a C but I'm alright with that.

Writing: Writing has kind of gone off the deep end for me. With the exception of my ever constsant rping, I haven't been writing much. I had that spur of the moment poem a few weeks back, but I'm not too pleased with it. Go ahead and read it if you'd like but for the most part it's just some ranting on my part.

Work: Working has turned out just as shitty as I thought it would be. I hate working there every second of every day. But who cares...I mean honestly...it gives me money and I really need it what with graduation coming up. Ugh...May already....FML

Me: I've been doing I've flatlined and I really feel like shit at the moment.

Alright, this is a quote from the most recent movie I'm addicted to and it's actually got quite a bit of relavance to my life right now. Said by Paul Dano aka Dwayne Hooever. Love the movie and I bought it already.

Alright instead of listing the things off in nice, neat little paragraphs I'm just going to go at it. I haven't updated this in forever but I can't say that it really bothers me.

Kay, so I recently got a job at the local grocery store. I went through the interview and had training in on Wedensday of this week. It was alot easier than I originally thought it was going to be, but my feet are killing me. I'll probably not wear my converse when I"m standing that much again, it kills my feet. But I was actually surprised at how easy it was to force being happy when I was there. I'll keep you guys updated on how that's going.

School has been a complete mess. My grades aren't really where I'd like them to be, so I've been scrambling to get them back up. I'm not failing anything but I definetly have a case of senioritis.

This week has been really REALLY busy. On Monday I had large group contest for band, on Tuesday I had knowledge bowl. We lost and we got beaten by the TRITON BOY!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! lol. On Wednesday I had my first day of work and training in, after that I got my prom dress altered at Lauren's house. It's orange by the way. Ugly color I know, but it looks awesome and the dress actually fits me well. On Thursday, aka today, I have to do a BUNCH of editing for the paper because the teacher in charge of it is pissed at me because it's supposed to be out today but it won't. PS not my fault I've been busy!!! On Friday I have radio show. On Saturday I have speech subsections and on Sunday we get to go to RENT!!! So yeah...my week...I don't do well with stress at all...I juts want to die right now..I swear if I have to do one more thing on top of all this I'm going to break down into tears......

I actually have two chapters of my new story up as well so watch and see how that goes!!!

I'M SO FREAKING TIRED!!!!!!!!

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Quote taken from one of my current favorite songs, White Horses by Taylor Swift.

Home- Things have been like always, a little tense but otherwise fine. My mom is getting a little less uptight which is cool...

School- New semester's started and classes are going smoothly. Most of mine are hard but hey, at least that gives me an excuse to stay home on the weekends. And about the whole me-selling-a-painting-thing. Yeah it's not gonna happen. At first I said two fifty, I was told that was too high so I lowered it to like 50 and then I guess he's not gonna buy it now...big surprise there...And then there's the snow daze talent show tomorrow, I'm gonna be in that with a few friends. We're doing the evolution of dance 2 so yeah...then the Snow- Daze dance which is going to suck I"m pretty sure because dances are never fun when you're single.. ugh..

Me-Yeah feeling more and more down by the day it seems. I'm just in one of those mooods and I think I just wanted to get some stuff out in this journal. I'm just sick of feeling like I'm never good enough for anyone or anything and then things happening that make me feel like that's really true....I'm pretty sure if it weren't for Lauren and a select few of my other friends I wouldn't be enjoying life at all right now. Thanks guys.

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